How to Be the Best at Practically Everything

Okay, I admit it. I've neglected this blog like an unloved houseplant. Instead of noisily observing my "6th blogiversary" with 24 hours of tweets and a full-press publicity blitz, I... wait, what was I doing? This blog turned 6 sometime in June, and even I missed it. But hey, vote for me for something! I feel as though I'm behind in my campaigning.

Not that I don't have a huge variety of excuses to apply. Here's the short list of things that have been going on since mid-March:

• I finally healed up completely from spinal surgery and have been just fine ever since. There's a new dimple on the back of my neck, but otherwise, everything is business as usual.
• Dinah and I are working through my handling foibles and ring nerves, but we've managed to finish two APDT Rally titles: RL1X and RL2. We have one leg toward the RL2X. I'm busy scanning the horizon for local AKC trials we can enter, since we've vastly improved our honor-exercise work for RE.
• I finished up my first project at work and helped finish another one. 
• Charlie turned 14. 14!

• Greg is working on a CD of his piano improvisations.
• It feels as though I've been working 8 days a week for a while now, between the upcoming National Specialty, website clients, my day job, and training classes. Sometime I'd just like to take a long vacation (more than a week, even) and just RELAX.  I'm thinking about Hawaii next January; my birthday seems like a good time to go someplace sunny.
• The socks I've been knitting are in suspended animation until it gets cool enough again to pick them up without sticking to them.

I intend (in my mythical spare time) to send this blog to Blog Rehab and make a nicer skin for it. I'm tired of looking at this one. (hey, it was the first Blogger skin I made all my own self. It's time to move on, though.)

In the meantime, Dog Show Newbie and Shaggy Dog Stories have both been moving right along. If you'd like to enter a drawing for a Kong Squiggles dog toy, go visit Shaggy Dog Stories while this blog is in rehab.

Hacked! A Tale of Woe

Just having a birthday at the end of January is crappy enough, but this year's birthday took the All-Time Super Grand Prize for Suckiness. For once, that honor didn't have anything to do with the terrible stinkin' winter weather or the fact that many restaurants close on Mondays during the off season. The most productive thing I did all day (outside of work) was to reorganize the home office desks (found stuff I'd been missing for months!). I didn't even bother buying my own birthday gift. All that pales next to the sheer aggravation that took place online that day.

This year's birthday began with some puzzling notifications in my email box. The first emails came from Yahoo, with timestamps of around 6:30 AM. "Hey, we noticed that you just changed your password. Did you mean to do that?" I hadn't changed my password -- I was still asleep at 6:30, and only just got up at 7.

I tried to log in to Yahoo, and received a "wrong password" response. I changed my email password, logged in, and found that all of the messages had been deleted from my inbox and folders. Next stop was Yahoo's help, where I contacted Yahoo, explained that I had probably been hacked, and specified when I last saw my inbox intact. Yahoo sent a canned email response, but also quickly restored everything to the state it had been when I saw it on the previous night.

The same thing had happened with my Gmail account. Someone had hacked into it, changed the password, and deleted all of the emails and folders. As it turns out, Google does not restore deleted messages from backup. Everything I had in that account -- including all of the stuff I'd been working on for Shaggy Dog Stories promotions -- was gone forever. At least the account was mine again when I changed the password.

Next, I received notification that my Facebook account had been disabled. I tried logging into that, and failed. My password had been changed there, too.

Then the calls and emails started coming. "Are you OK? Where are you?" Confused, I answered "I'm at home. Why?" Some of my friends forwarded this to me...

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, I came down here to Wales Uk for a short vacation unfortunately i was mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed,all cash,credit card and cell was stolen from me but luckily i still have my life and passport.i've been to the embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and my flight leaves today but am having problems settling the hotel bills, and the hotel manager won't let me leave until we settle the bills,i'm freaked out at the moment.wondering if you could help me  with a quick loan,i can pay you back once i get home.

Thanks

Apparently this email had gone out to everyone I ever met -- the sister and stepmother of my high-school boyfriend, whom I hadn't seen or spoken to since approximately 1981, my favorite headhunter, a couple of former bosses, several Yahoo email lists, Greg, a high-school classmate on a business trip to Dallas... well, pretty much everybody. Many people realized that I have dear friends in Wales, so they believed the story -- at least for a moment. One person, with whom I had exchanged a couple of casual emails once when she was looking for a puppy, sent me back a "How dare you?" email. Apparently she thought I had some nerve to be emailing her for money. I had to explain that I'd been hacked -- had to explain it over and over and over again. I even had to set that as my status on LinkedIn, since I couldn't get into Facebook.

The more astute among my friends and acquaintances -- including many fellow writers and most of my former editors -- figured that something was afoot, since I hadn't lost my ability to use punctuation overnight. (Even my text messages use proper spelling, capitalization, and punctuation.) The originating email address was my3seadog@yahoo (a new account that looked like my Yahoo email, only with letters omitted). Same with saltyshepdog@gmail.

My friend and former co-worker Joel, who had also been pinged through Facebook chat by someone pretending to be me, pretended to play along. Here's what he sent back to the impostor:

Karen, I just checked email and saw your horrible message. Did you get the help you needed? If not, please give me a call at ###-###-#### and we'll work something out.

"Bizarro Me" wasted no time in getting back to the fish s/he had apparently hooked:

Glad to hear back from you.i wish i could call you but i don't have access to phone or any place i can get phone to receive call. It has really been embarrassing for me $1,850 USD. will cover all my expenses but i will appreciate whatsoever you can afford to wire right now, I promise to refund it to you as soon as I arrive home. You can wire it to my name from a western union outlet around. Here are the details you need to get it to me

Address:-2 Park Street Cardiff South Wales United Kingdom CF101ET

I still have my passport so I can use it as identification once you are done,  kindly e-mail me the western union confirmation Number MTCN ..let me know if you are heading to the western union now?

(2 Park Street in Cardiff appears to be the address of the local courthouse, according to Google Maps.)

Joel and I both called Western Union to report the situation. Western Union's security people informed us that these crooks were well-known in the UK, and although they were outside the reach of the USA, they were known to law enforcement across the pond. Also, a recipient of wired funds could show up with a fake ID anywhere to a Western Union office anywhere in the country to claim the money -- so a bogus address really didn't matter. The tracking number simply allows people to see when the funds are available to be picked up. Apparently criminals love Western Union wire transfers because they're so trusting. The security folks put a stop on any transactions involving my name, but there were no guarantees that the local constabulary could immediately show up and arrest someone who could be anywhere in the country, and who wouldn't appear unless real money had been wired. Joel asked whether the criminals would accept PayPal -- but no. PayPal is too secure.

Meanwhile, "Bizarro Me" insisted that "my" cell phone had been taken, but the laptop had not -- hence the ability to send emails and Facebook messages, but nothing that could positively identify "me." Apparently there were no other phones anywhere in Wales, and "I" was mighty insistent about an inability to call. (Apparently Skype was also a no-go.)

In the meantime, Facebook could not have been less helpful. All support emails are automated; I didn't exchange messages with a single human being. No one answers the phones, even the ones listed at gethuman.com. They don't even take voicemail messages. All I received were multiple copies of the same "Your account has been disabled because you were scamming Facebook" email.

Joel reported that "Bizarro Me" was positively salivating at the chance to reap some reward, and kept emailing him every few minutes asking where the money was. Joel replied that his wife was out at the bank getting money, and he would send it as soon as she got home. Eventually, he tired of the emails and told the crook that instead of getting the money for me, she had wired it to a friend of hers who had also been "stranded in Wales." "Bizarro Me" began to squeak for "any money at all," but Joel cut "me" off. Apparently "Bizarro Me" has no sense of irony.

It took me over three weeks of wading through canned responses to get my Facebook account restored. Even after watching "The Social Network" and reading that the company is buying the old "Sun Quentin" campus in Menlo Park, I'm astonished to see that any human beings work there at all. Until the day my account was finally restored, I had never actually made contact with any.

To this day, I'm not entirely sure how the hackers made their attack, but my theory is that they invaded Facebook first. Facebook gets hacked all the time -- presumably by bored sixth-graders -- but the company robots have no conception of network security. Once inside, the hackers were able to send chat messages to all 1400-plus of my Facebook friends and gain access to the email addresses I had configured in my profile. From there, they were able to access the online address books for those emails, and send the infamous "tears in my eyes" email to everyone on the planet before deleting all of the email messages in my inbox.

I've been online since about 1986 or 87 (not counting a CompuServe account I'd had a year or so before that) and had never been hacked, never had a virus, never succumbed to a phishing scheme... nothing. Most of my computers have been Macs. This doesn't insulate you completely from the world of bad intentions, but most hackers are still too lazy to write viruses for Mac OS. I used to enjoy getting PC viruses in my email inbox on the UNIX boxes at work; this allowed me to read the scripts in the virus files and marvel at the sheer chutzpah of people who really should take up better hobbies. (I hear stamp collecting is very popular, as is model railroading.)

Here are some things I've learned from the experience. I hope you never need to find them helpful.

• Change your passwords. If you don't want to do it even once a year, at least make them hard to guess. Adding numbers no longer makes things more complicated; you'll want to throw in some punctuation and/or symbols, too. If you'll have trouble remembering them, write them down on paper and keep the paper in a secure place, or use a utility like 1Password. Make up special passwords for your bank account and credit card accounts, and don't use those with anything else, even other bank accounts. Most Facebook hackers just want quick/insecure money, but don't be bait for the real identity thieves, either.
• Don't use an online email account (such as Yahoo, Gmail, or Hotmail) with social networking sites. There are hackers who "specialize" in hacking those accounts. Use the email address that comes with your broadband Internet (cable or DSL), or get an email account from an honest-to-goodness ISP.
• If you value the information in your online email accounts, then save it offline. Yahoo will bail you out if something goes wrong. Google figures that you're on your own.
• Don't use online address books, except secured ones like MobileMe. Use the ones stored on your computer instead. It takes 2 more seconds per email, but you won't have to spend days cleaning up after an attack.
• Facebook and other social networking sites are all about interconnection. Make only the connections you will actually find useful. Don't click on links to videos or other messages that appear in your feed; go to YouTube (or whatever) and search for the video if you want to see it. Remember: the more capital letters, OMGs, exclamation points, or .info domains you see, the more likely the link is to be bogus -- if not evil.
• Delete games, polls, etc. that you're no longer using.You never know who will come across a dead poll with loads of contacts in it, and decide to make use of it.
• Ignore invites for games you don't want to play or friend requests from people whom you don't know, or who are perfect strangers who have no photos and no other friends.

I hope this lengthy tale of woe prevents the same thing from happening to you. My sin was laziness. It won't happen again.

By the way, if you are ever robbed while traveling and need help, the staff at a decent hotel will never hold you hostage -- and they will let you use the hotel phone to call for help.

Sound the Trumpets!

Well, okay, maybe a kazoo or two. It's just that these socks have been on the needles for so many months that I wasn't sure I'd ever get to the point where I could announce they were done.

These are the now-famous (if only for their longevity in my list of works in progress) K1C2 Crock-o-Dye socks in the Grape colorway, using the Yankee Knitter "Classic Socks for the Whole Family" pattern. They're lovely close up, and quite soft. I can't wait to put them on!

If you haven't tried Crock-o-Dye, you should. The hint of silk in the yarn results in lovely color variation, and I saw no pooling or any other unwanted effects. The only thing I'd advise is to be a little careful while knitting this yarn -- it splits easily, and the plies are more loosely wound than they appear. This can create a few looser-looking stitches at edges unless you're vigilant.

I had spinal surgery in mid-February, and was forbidden to use the computer for the first few weeks of recovery. Even now, I can only use one for a few hours per day, or my muscles will start screaming at me. I can't drive, can't work (boo hoo), can't lift stuff, can't sit in the hot tub... I've filled in the time with (you guessed it) knitting! I've finished these socks, started another pair, and have the first cuff of a third pair in the wings. I also wound the yarn for a fourth pair last night. At least I can claim to be productive in one area of life these days.

In spite of my stay-at-home status, Fran and I attended the NETA Spa Knit-and-Spin event in Freeport a couple of weekends ago. We had a good time -- stayed in a nearby hotel, had a chance to hold court in the hotel lobby with a nice random bunch of other knitters, and had some great food at a couple of local restaurants. We were both very bad in the vendor area (I was very, very bad) - but that's what going to SPA is for. I like to sample the yarn offerings from local spinners and dyers -- and I've finally grown picky enough so I can leave anything I don't absolutely love. If I can't throw it in the washer, I might still buy it -- but not with the same enthusiasm I'll show for an equally lovely superwash.

I haven't forgotten about the long story of Why My Birthday Sucked Donkey Dong, but that's a tale for another time.

Happy Birthday to Me

...and thanks to "Robot Chicken."

Long, sordid story to follow.

Happy Solstice to All!

They're Ready for Their Closeups

Dinah and Badger embarked on their careers as canine supermodels yesterday. (Well, they've been the subjects of fine art paintings before, and Dinah's appeared in books and on AKC Meet the Breeds materials, but this is the very first time they've worked for remuneration.) The kind folks at FetchDog contacted me a little while ago after going through their photos, looking for catalog models. I had completely forgotten that their "talent scout" had snapped some pictures of Dinah at a Meet the Breeds event a couple of years ago; she seemed particularly interested in Dory at the time, so I thought nothing of it and completely forgot about the whole encounter. The call from their production manager came as quite the surprise!

At her request, I emailed photos of all four of the Beardies, plus their vital statistics. Since Charlie and Seamus are clipped, their coats aren't as glamorous as Dinah's and Badger's -- so Dinah and Badger were selected to take part in the next photo shoot. They would be modeling a couch cover, I was told. Our friend Liz is the "dog wrangler" for the shoots, which was also welcome news. Liz understands bouncy Beardies and how to get the best out of them. After a panicked call to our saintly favorite groomer, the kids were dispatched to the doggie spa, fluffed and folded, and returned. I packed a bag with grooming supplies, brushes, hairspray, and hair elastics.

We arrived at the shooting location in Yarmouth half an hour ahead of our scheduled shooting time. The folks who own the house are both brave and generous; their beautiful house gets invaded periodically by small crowds of people bearing equipment, props, toys, collars, and various dogs on leash. The front entryway is protected by dropcloths and all the humans remove their shoes to minimize the amount of dirt and grit tracked onto the pristine hardwood floors.

All of the shoots for a given day are scheduled for particular times, by the dog's name and the products they'll be modeling. We waited a little while for the adorable German Wirehaired Pointer puppy to finish her session. She was sweet and very wiggly; I'm not sure if she settled down enough for the photographer to get what he wanted. I signed our photo release-cum-vital-statistics form and collected our copy of the current catalog with a gift certificate. Robin, the production coordinator, came in and out with collars, toys, and other props for shoots. She dropped off some, then picked up others and disappeared back into the house.

Production Central was located in the garage of the house. The kind owners had cleared out for the morning, leaving both parking spaces available for soft crates, bins of props and collars, and all of the paperwork associated with scheduling the photo sessions. Two beautiful little Aussies waited in one of the big soft crates, which doubled as a work table. Dinah and Badger were more comfortable in the car, so they waited there as we humans stamped around in the garage and sipped coffee to keep warm.

After a bit, the crew rearranged the furniture in the living room so that the couch and its cover stood in the middle, free of interference. Liz came out and helped me bring Dinah and Badger into the house. Everyone made a fuss over the pretty shaggy dogs. Dinah danced and wiggled. Badger took everything in and waited thoughtfully. We met Dennis, the photographer, and a number of other crew members.

Liz and I managed to get the two Beardies up onto the couch and positioned together. I asked, "Do you want me to get their hair out of their eyes? I brought hairspray and everything." The crew seemed to prefer having their hair down in their faces, so we left them as is. The tan couch cover they were modeling was thick, quilted, and lush, with a faux-sheepskin underside. I had to force myself to stop fondling it long enough to back away and let the photo shoot begin.

After some urging and a number of duck treats, Liz and I managed to get both dogs to lie down and stay in place -- though neither of them felt inclined to stay there for long. Dennis took a number of shots, and then I was asked to walk Badger outside while Liz stayed with Dinah. I didn't get to see how that worked out, but I'm hoping Mama's Girl wasn't too restless with both of us gone. The set designer came out and said, "We love your dogs, but..." -- so I'm not sure whether they sat still enough to provide good shots, or whether these wiggly shaggy dogs will be invited back.

Dennis then came outside and asked us to pose both dogs close together in the front yard and then the backyard. He tried several views with different lenses and light directions. One of the crew members walked back and forth behind him as I held Dinah and Badger. She squeaked a toy and talked to the dogs to get their attention.

Dennis shot several photos, changed lenses, and shot several more.  He indicated a set of stone steps on the side of the house and asked whether both dogs would sit up there. I replied that Dinah probably would. We set her up on the steps and shot several photos of her pretty face before she grew restless and descended the steps. We're still working on that sit-stay in obedience.

He asked us to wait a bit while he checked the photos indoors to see whether he had the shots he wanted. We waited in the front yard and watched a Sheltie and her owner walk past, plus a portly but adorable Nova Scotia Duck Toller who would be gracing a number of the shots. Liz came out, checked with Dennis to make sure he had what he needed, and then told me we were done for the day. We shook hands, thanked Robin for inviting us, and headed homeward.

Now, all we need to do is wait for the photos. I hope that Dennis was able to get shots that he can use, since it would be Cool As Anything to see the kids in the catalog, professionally photographed. In the meantime, I'll be cruising the FetchDog website, looking for a backseat cover for the Subaru.

It's possible that none of the shots we took will be used, but at least we can say we've had the experience -- and who knows? Maybe their next career move is just around the corner. The cover of Dogue, perhaps?

Back on the Rollercoaster

I'm shocked. Shocked, I say! I knew it had been a while since I came to visit the blog and leave off some wisdom, but the time just got away from me. You probably think that we'd packed up our suitcases and left town.

Here's just a quick list of all the stuff that's been going on:

• I started a job at Dell Computer. I was genuinely sad to leave WEX, and had always hoped they'd rush in and make a counter-offer at the last minute, just as I was packing my stuff into one of those plastic storage bins. That never really happened, so I'm now working a good job with great people, and driving a commute that just plain sucks the life out of me.
• The commute killed my old car, so I bought a new one. I have to admit that I'm getting rather giddy from the new-car smell -- it's been 8 years since I had a new car -- but being saddled with car payments again is a real downside.
• Greg's Sax Quartets CD has been receiving some very good reviews from online music journals. He'll be including some of the pithier excerpts on his new, revamped, Flash-based website. The new site focuses on his piano improvisations.
• Dinah and I finished a few rally titles. I want to save that news for the Dog Show Newbie blog, which could also use some updates. I did take some time to update the news flashes on my website, anyway.
• Dinah and Badger have been invited to model for the FetchDog catalog! They'll be going to a photo shoot in early December to model couch covers. If I find out when the catalog is coming out, I'll post an update.
• I won a Freakin' Sweet gift bag full of goodies from the local quilt shop's Open House. It even includes a gift certificate for machine quilting! I picked up a kit for a quilt that I really want to make at the Maine Quilt Show back in July -- and the gift basket contains a roll of gorgeous Moda fabrics for yet another project. What to do, what to do...

There will be more, but pre-holiday madness is upon us (again). Since there's no opt-out option available for this year either, there are errands to run and plenty of stuff to do. I promise a real follow-up soon!